Mess
by Shamoosh
Summary: Nice going, Victoria,' I thought. 'You get out of one bloody mess and you blunder into another. No wonder Master's so irritated with you all the time.'


**Standard disclaimers apply.**

Right, well. This _was_ an experiment in first person, but it quickly transformed itself into a conglomeration of first person, Seras Victoria, one of those generic oh-no-I've-been-captured-must-escape kind of fics, and the contradictory way people think. And, somehow, a "What Would Jesus Do?" tee-shirt wormed its way in there. Also, please take note that as an American, I have little idea of modern British...er, talk. If I make a glaringly obvious and/or offensive mistake, please account it to my natioanality and, therefore, my ignorance. Thank you.

(Also, this doesn't take place anywhere in the Hellsing timeline. Please consider it as an imaginary blip in the natural way of all things Hellsing.)

* * *

My arms were bound somehow, wrapped in what felt like chains and extended in an unnatural position up and behind me. The rest of me also happened to be wrapped in chains. Heavy, thick ones that chafed my skin and caught in my clothes and hair. I felt like one of those Egyptian mummies, only, y'know, metal. Or maybe an infant, all bundled in swaddling whatsits. 

Unlike an infant, however, my swaddling whatsits weren't all warm and soft. And no one would care if I cried. Except maybe to laugh at and ridicule me.

Er, anyway.

It might have been cold in the room. Dungeon. Whatever.

It also might have been dark. But being undead, well, you tend to ignore those types of things. I don't know if I can even feel cold anymore, much less differentiate between a lit room and a dark one. I can see either way. Master said I'd be blind in sunlight, though. If I survived long enough to notice.

I shifted, or tried to at least. The chains rattled and clinked around me, some of the slack that was lying on my back slipping off with a loud clank. Suspended about ten feet from the ground, I swung from side to side in an utterly depressing manner.

'_Nice going, Victoria_' I thought. '_You get out of one bloody mess and you blunder into anoth__er. No wonder Master's so__ irritated with you__ all the time.'_

I considered waiting for someone to show up and explain what the hell was going on (bad guys always did have the oddly handy tendency to gloat and reveal their master plan on the telly), or maybe for Master to pop up out of nowhere like he enjoyed to.

I wasn't looking forward to his mocking. '_Even a fledgling could break those chains,'_ he'd say. '_They aren't even blessed silver.'_

…Maybe a fledgling _could_ break these chains.

I lifted my head as much as I could, what with a chain settled against the back of my neck. The links were _heavy_. Heavy enough to give _me_ trouble. Although I was a joke of a vampire, so who could really say?

I thrashed for a moment, wriggling and jerking and bucking as much as I was able. It generated an awful racket, reverberating off the plain stone or cement or _whatever_ walls just to bounce back again.

Frustrated with the lack of progress (well, I never said I had much of a fuse), I swung myself back and forth in increased agitation. I probably looked ridiculous.

All of a sudden, after a particularly violent swing, there was a strange screechy, creaky noise.

It sounded a lot like metal bending, oddly enou—

The ground rushed up to meet me, and it slammed into me hard with the weight of who knows what (the world, I guess) behind it. There was an awful crack, much like the sound I imagine something important would make if you fell on it wrong. I lay there on the floor, groaning, and stared dazedly up at the ceiling.

Funny, there was a bent hook all the way up there….

Oh, well. That explained it.

I shoved the heavy chains off with effort (some were thicker than my _leg_) and stood on my own feet at last. Stepping away from the veritable mountain, I scanned the room. No windows. That had been expected. Whoever had gone to such lengths of capturing me (honestly—where would you get economy-sized restraints like that?) wouldn't want me to burn up in the sun, right?

Or maybe they would. Whatever.

There was only one door. Surprise, surprise. I walked over to it quickly, setting a hand on the oddly shiny handle and—

_"OW!" _I yelped and recoiled with a hiss, cradling my smoking hand to my chest. "Silver! Those bloody bastards!"

Even as I cursed, I knew it made sense. Getting out would never have been so easy.

Edging away from the door, I examined my hand. My palm and the insides of my fingers were burnt black, and my white glove had been completely incinerated where it had been the barrier between skin and silver.

Funny, it looked like there were words….

Squinting, I brought my palm closer to my face. There was a brand name scorched into my skin. Bloody _peachy. _I exhaled through clenched teeth, already fed up with this entire situation.

"Look," I said loudly to whoever might be listening. "Just show yourself already!"

There was no response.

A few moments of silence later, I muttered, "Fine. Have it your way then."

I went back to the door and, carefully avoiding the handle, tried to figure out what it was made of. My little investigation had me screeching and throwing myself back _again_, this time with a hand clapped on my nose.

Oh yes. The door was definitely silver.

Standing on the other side of the room and scowling, I imagined what Master would say. "Any _fledgling would have been able to smell the silver, Police Girl."_

'_I guess not this fledgling__, Master. Sorry you got stuck with the stupid one.'_

_'What are you babbling about, Police Girl? Where are you?'_

I jumped, startled. '_M-master?'_

_'Who _else, _Police Girl?'_ His voice in my head sounded exasperated. And not in an affectionate kind of way. _'Where have you been?'_

_'Er, well, I—I'm not sure exactly, Master. I'm in a room somewhere, probably underground. I was chained up, too, not long ago, but I got free and—'_

_'You escaped by yourself?' _There might have been a smidgen of pride in his voice. There was definitely surprise, though.

'_Er, well, sort of? I got the chains off, but there's only one door and it's made of silver.'_

_'You're certain?'_

I grimaced, stroking my burnt palm gingerly. '_Yes, sir. I'm more than certain.'_

_'Found __out the hard way, did you?'_

_'…Yes, sir. And before you say it, I _know _every fledgling should be able to smell it.'_

_'__…__Interesting. Stay where you are, Police Girl. Even though a child of my blood ought to be able to escape on her own.'_

That hurt. Quite a lot, actually. And, as usual, pain makes people do crazy things.

_'Then I will.'_

Crazy things like standing up to my master.

'_Oh?'_

Well, there wasn't any backing out now.

_'Yes, sir. I'__ll get out on my own.'_

There was an underlying tone of amusement in Master's voice when he answered. It checked my building confidence harshly.

_'And how do you propose to do so, _Police Girl?_'_

I swallowed; an action completely unnecessary for a vampire, but I hadn't quite broken all (hell, even most) of my human habits.

'_Well, sir, y-you said that a child of your blood should be able to get out by herself. So if I'm able, I'll do it.'_ It's never a good sign when you stutter in your mind.

'_Very well then, Police Girl. We'll see how you manage.'_

I felt my Master's mind recede somewhat from my own, leaving a lingering sense of mocking amusement. Those lovely little chats with him always did wonders for my self-esteem.

I rubbed the back of my neck, sucking in an unnecessary breath to let it out as a sigh. Vampires didn't need to breath, except to speak out loud. I oftentimes forgot that.

But back to the issue at hand. How the hell was I going to get myself out of this one?

I looked down at the pile of chains, dejected. '_Way to go, Victoria. Get yourself out of one mess and blunder into another. Honestly.'_

I shook my head, dispersing those thoughts. They would wind up getting me killed, I knew. I tried to examine my situation like a police girl would.

'_Okay. There's only one entrance and one exit. And it's all but useless because I can't touch it. I have no idea why I'm here, or even where here is.__ I don't know where or who my kidnappers are. All I've got to work with are the clothes on my back.' _I glanced down at the chains again. '_And a lot of very heavy chains.'_

Words of wisdom from my Master on my very first mission flashed in my mind. '_Problems for a human. But you are _not _human anymore.'_

I could have slapped my forehead in realization. In fact, I did.

I wasn't human anymore, so I needed to stop thinking like one! '_Okay,'_ I thought. '_Let's try this again. From a vampire's standpoint, where am I?_

_'Can't get through the door as it is now. Can't hear anyone, can't see anyon__e, and can't sense anyone. I'm probably not__ alone. What can I do?'_

I closed my eyes in thought for a moment. Soon, I had an almost plan of action in mind.

"Okay," I breathed. "I can do this. I can make Master proud."

That was, of course, the only reason I even said anything in the first place. I longed for my Master to be proud of me, instead of irritated by my questions and ignorance. I wanted him to see that I wasn't stupid—well, I wanted him to see that I wasn't _as_ stupid as he obviously thought I was.

I knew I was obtuse sometimes, and I was fully prepared to blame that on being blonde. But, then again, Sir Integra was blonde, wasn't she? And I oftentimes had trouble figuring out who was more intelligent between her and Master.

I shook my head again, gathering my scattered thoughts. '_Okay, Seras. Third eye. Center of the forehead.'_

Keeping my eyes closed, I envisioned the third eye just as my Master had instructed. A moment later, I felt it open.

I stared determinedly at the wall with it, seeing it as it really was—well, as it was for vampires: intangible. Or was I the one who was intangible? Oh whatever. I'd think about it later.

I slid cautiously through the wall with the door, careful to stick my head out partially first to check if the coast was clear.

It was.

I hurried through the wall (there was always this one point where I would get stuck half in the wall, half out) and, following my instincts, turned left. The walls were stone, I noted as I crept down the hallway. The thud of my boots echoed quietly and I wished I knew how to levitate. At the end of the hallway was a staircase.

Well, if I was underground, then the logical way to go would be up, right?

So up I went.

At the top of the surprisingly long stairs was a door, this one with a small window. I took advantage of it and cautiously peered through a corner, pressed against the wall so I hopefully wouldn't draw any attention to myself.

There was a man on the other side. A guard? No, wait—

It was a ghoul!

I took the time to listen, focusing intently on the other side of the door. A curious shuffle-thud kind of gait, then a moan. Another moan echoed it, then a few more. More dragging footsteps. I glanced through more of the window.

'_Cripes!' _I cursed. '_A bloody room full of ghouls!'_

I stopped myself from exhaling. That was a human gesture. Vampires don't need to breathe. Vampires also wouldn't be daunted by a room full of mindless ghouls, either, but I wasn't going to think about that.

Instinctively, I reached back for my Harkonnen, only to find it missing.

'_Argh, that's right! I'm weaponless.'_

I didn't bother to stop the deep, nervous breath that time. '_Master fights with just his hands all the time, though.'_

I might have been obtuse, but I wasn't nearly so stupid as to think that if Master could do something, I could do it too. But I _had_ fought with my hands before. I could do it again.

Right?

"Only one way to know," I murmured, then carefully readied myself for a head-on attack.

After a second's preparation, I burst through the door and slammed my elbow into the ghoul on the other side. His head didn't create any resistance in a really gross, wet-toilet paper kind of way.

I reminded myself that a quick death was all I could do for them and turned on the next.

A few minutes later, I was panting and wiping blood from my face with an already bloodied glove. The room's once-white walls were splattered with blood, guts, and gore. And dust.

A part of me took pride in my handiwork. I pushed that part away and picked a door to go through. This one, too, had a window. I didn't even bothering opening it when I saw it was a dead end.

I picked another door which led to a hallway. As I ran down it, I wondered if I should bother with being stealthy. I was leaving a pretty obvious trail of bloody footprints, and the ghouls had made more than a bit of a racket….

The part of me that I'd tried to shove away whispered that I should make it obvious where I was. How else would anyone find me?

That voice sounded disturbingly like my Master. Shivering a little, I ignored it and peered around a corner. There was a woman walking at the far end, her back to me and a ghoul stumbling after her. Since she wasn't screaming and running and it wasn't chasing her, I figured she was probably a vampire.

That frightened me quite a bit.

Should I go face her? Follow at a safe distance? Go in the other direction? Attack from behind?

One of those annoying 'WWJD' tee-shirts popped up in my head, completely uncalled for. I didn't _know_ what Jesus would do in my situation, but I was pretty sure it wasn't the same as what _I _would do. The shirt changed suddenly to 'WWMD.' I almost groaned, wondering where my imagination got its claws on drugs.

'What would Master do?'

_'_That's_ an easy question,_' I thought bitterly. '_Call attention to himself, mock them, __and then__ drag out their death in a most painful __and violent __way.'_

I elected to follow the other vampire. Who knows—she might lead me to the exit. But as I crept after her, I had to wonder if she knew I was there. How strong was she? Could she sense me? _Master_ would have been able to sense me. But, then again, I was his fledgling. We had a bond. And Master was also extremely powerful.

Was she leading me into a trap?

Suddenly, the woman unclipped something from her belt. A walkie-talkie. I didn't have to strain to hear her conversation.

"Escaped? What do you mean, _escaped?_ She's gone? The fledgling? _How did she get out? _What do you mean you don't know?! Who was watching her?"

I smiled a little to myself as she became increasingly agitated, though my smile vanished when the woman stopped short in the hall. "No one was watching her?! She's _Alucard's_ fledgling! How can no one have been watching her?"

When it became obvious the woman was about to turn around, I made an impulsive decision and charged her as fast as I could, springing into a tackled that took me over the ghoul and right onto to the vampire. She shrieked in surprise, and I belatedly remembered the walkie-talkie. Cursing my own stupidity, I tore it from her grip and crushed it in my hand.

I found it disturbingly easy to do so.

"How do I get out?" I demanded, pressing her head into the tiled floor.

She muttered something, and then I felt the ghoul's leathery hands grip my shirt. My elbow jerked back on instinct, crushing its skull.

I grimaced as I felt it spray my back with blood. Unfortunately, my grip loosened on the woman and she managed to throw me off.

She started laughing. I stared at her in confusion.

"Poor little fledgling," she cooed mockingly. "All alone. There's no Master here to save you."

I snarled on instinct, lips writhing back from my teeth. "I don't _need _him to save me!"

Where I once would have been only angry, I felt infuriated. (That blood must have been getting to me.) When she burst into another round of annoyingly patronizing laughter, I lunged for her. She sidestepped smugly, but my injured palm (remember that silver-burn?) whipped out and caught her arm. While she was off balance, I connected my fist with her face.

She snarled and kicked out, knocking my legs out from under me. I dragged her down with me and we rolled down the hallway, each struggling against the other. Her fist slammed repeatedly into my jaw until I finally had the sense to bite into it, crushing her knuckles with my teeth. At the taste of her blood, that crazy red haze settled over my vision and my attacks somehow gained something like strength that might have just been single-mindedness.

My injured hand tightened around her upper arm, and with a sickening crack that sounded _delicious_, I ripped it from her torso.

The vampire screamed, falling limp long enough for me to pin her to the ground beneath me. I felt a grin curve and part my lips.

She screamed again, bloody tears falling down her cheeks and pooling on the floor. I wanted to laugh. "Who needs saving now?" I growled in a voice that might have been my own. It was too… _rough_ to be mine, though. Too hungry.

But it came from _my_ lips.

With agonizing slowness, I forced a hand through her ribcage, relishing in the crack and splintering of the bones, and squeezed her heart until it burst.

She turned to dust beneath me, and I fell the few inches to the floor. Suddenly the red haze cleared and everything snapped back into focus, just like it always did when I got carried away.

I stood quickly, feeling nauseous. That hadn't been me. That hadn't been me.

_That was not me!_

"But it was," I whispered in anguish. I felt blood trickle down my chin.

_Her_ blood. And—and I was caked in dust! _Her _remains. That was all that was left. Dust and blood. And I was covered in it.

"Oh, oh _God,_" I leant against the wall, covering my face in my bloodied hands. I was disgusted. God, I'd just _murdered _that woman!

No… that vampire. That FREAK.

It was her or me. _Her or me._ And I chose me.

I realized that I hadn't taken a breath in a long, long time. And to be frank, that scared me more than anything. At least, I wanted it to.

To be perfectly honest, I _wasn't _disturbed or frightened. At all. And that disturbed and frightened me.

… Or did it?

I shook my head furiously and pushed away from the wall. That didn't matter now. What mattered now was getting out of this place alive.

Well, dead, technically.

Wait, no, _un_dead.

What mattered now was getting out of this place undead.

Oh, fuck it.

Without looking back, I jogged down the hall. After several minutes in which I was determined to not think about anything except getting out, I found myself coming upon a large room. A large, thankfully _empty_ room. I scanned it several times before finally making a break for the double doors on the other side. Once there, I glanced through the small window.

Freedom!

I wanted to laugh at how ridiculously easy this was. There obviously were other vampires here—had they underestimated me that much?

And then my good mood slipped to anger. Yes, they _had _underestimated me that much. Because I was a weak little fledgling, a _kitten_, who wouldn't drink her blood and couldn't stand up for herself.

'_But not anymore,'_ I promised myself as I walked carefully through the doors. '_I'll be strong from now on.'_

I found that I'd been in some sort of supply house. A warehouse, maybe, that had been remodeled on the inside?

The parking lot was empty except for a few cars, and I got away and into the woods surrounding it without any trouble whatsoever, it being night and all.

'_Master!' _I called mentally, feeling no small amount of pride.

'_Yes, Police Girl? Need I __come get you out of some mess?'_

Anger flared up in me again, but my ache for approval won out. '_No, I got out all by myself!'_

"So you did, Seras Victoria." My master's voice caused me to jump and whirl around. He faded into existence, the usual leer on his face.

He ran an eye over my dusty and bloodied appearance. "Looks like you had some fun on the way."

I remembered the nameless vampire I'd killed and couldn't find any feeling but satisfaction. I also couldn't bring myself to be bothered by my lack of a humane reaction. Master must have been reading my mind. He grinned at me. "So, you're finally letting go of the old Seras Victoria, hmm?"

I realized that he'd called me by my name _twice_ in a very short span of time and pride welled up in me again. He approved, he was _proud!_

I felt his presence in my mind increase and caught brief snippets of my escape in his mind's eye. I felt as he watched in detail my fight against the other vampire and her ghoul, and through the bond I sensed his satisfaction, and a little bit of sparked intrigue. "_Very_ interesting, Seras."

I blinked up at him in shock. Master had called me by just my first name? I wondered faintly if the Apocalypse was coming soon and then he chuckled, which didn't really reassure me. At all.

"Come, Police Girl. My master waits."

He set his heavy hand on my shoulder, wrapping the both of us in his dark magic (_was_ it magic?) and warping us away.


End file.
